I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Randomize
