Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
