Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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