I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
