last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
be right there i have to get my cape
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
