But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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