Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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