he told me I talked like a deaf person
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize