I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Randomize