I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
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