hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
