you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
