By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
