So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
