I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
