I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize
