i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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