You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
