I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
There r osticjed everywhere
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Randomize
