I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
