all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
