If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
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it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
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I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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