i don't like sucking hair
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize