She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
