dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
