I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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