in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
