I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
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I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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