maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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