I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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