I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
so much tequila, so little girl.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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