oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
