Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
True but thats because hes a fetus.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
