I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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