she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize