At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
