I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
