He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
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