And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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