your thong is hanging out like whoa
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
