five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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