im drinking this country out of the recession.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
