They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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