Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
