does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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