It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
