just come out here and I will go home with you...
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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