Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
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you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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