if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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