he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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