fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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