I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
We named our party play list daddy issues
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
