why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
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you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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