Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
