It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
