I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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