how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
